Braves 6, Royals 3: I suppose the Braves will lose again at some point. I just don’t know when that point is. The team has 25 homers in 13 games.
Yankees 4, Diamondbacks 2: I wasn’t watching this, but as I was going to bed people on Twitter were noting that Mariano Rivera was coming into the game and saying stuff about the 2001 World Series. Which, sure, I guess I understand. But holy mother of heck, that was nearly 12 years ago. Think about your life 12 years ago and ask yourself how relevant anything that was happening to you then is now. Then ask yourself whether you honestly think someone like Rivera is really affected by the 2001 World Series in April 2013.
Rangers 4, Cubs 2: Craig Gentry made a diving catch with two outs in the ninth inning and the bases loaded on a Darwin Barney shot to left that would have at least tied it if it weren’t caught and would have likely won it if Gentry had dived and totally missed. Craigs are pretty clutch, though, so he had it the whole way.
Orioles 5, Rays 4: It wasn’t pretty but Jake Arrieta got his first win since last June. Tampa Bay has lost four in a row and seven of eight.
Rockies 8, Mets 4; Rockies 9, Mets 8: A freezing, snowy doubleheader? Mmm, sounds like a total blast. David Wright had two blasts in the opener in a losing cause. Jordan Pacheco had the game-winning hit in the 10th in the night cap. I’m going to guess that this is the most miserable pair of games the Mets have endured in ages, simply because of weather and crap.
Red Sox 7, Indians 2: Ubaldo Jimenez was, like, 15-1 to start the season a couple of years ago. It’s true. I remember it. If the Indians were smart he’d end this year 0-2, having never thrown another pitch. Because something ain’t right with this guy (1.2 IP, 2 H, 7 ER, 5 BB).
White Sox 4, Blue Jays 3: The White Sox rallied for two in the ninth then held off as the Jays tried to claw back in the bottom of the inning. After the game Paul Konerko said “It was a gritty win.” After which he was sued for copyright infringement by the Arizona Diamondbacks.
Marlins 8, Nationals 2: Ryan Zimmerman’s defensive problems continue, as his throwing error in the fourth led to four unearned Marlins runs. Those four runs were more than the Marlins had scored in all but one of their previous 13 games. Zimmerman has had four errors in the past five games.
Twins 8, Angels 6: Joe Mauer is 8 for 10 in this series so far after going 4 for 5 with three RBI in this one. Talk to some random Twins fans, though, and they’ll still say he’s a problem for some reason that eludes me entirely.
Brewers 10, Giants 8: Just when we finally get the Barry Zito bandwagon all booked up with passengers, gassed up and onto the on-ramp, it throws an engine rod. Two and two-thirds inning, eight hits, nine runs for Barry, including a grand slam to Yunieskey Betancourt for cryin’ out loud.
Athletics 4, Astros 3: Remember that stuff about how the NL Central teams are gonna miss having the Astros to kick around this season? The A’s here are the other side of that coin, as they’ve beaten Houston five times already. Meanwhile, AL East and AL Central teams have to face real baseball teams as they compete with AL West teams for the wild card. Because the unbalanced schedule is so fair.
Tigers 6, Mariners 2: Miguel Cabrera drove in four and Doug Fister gave the Mariners another reminder that, welp, maybe they shouldn’t have traded him away (7 IP, 4 H, 2 ER).
Padres 9, Dodger 2: Alexi Amarista drove in four and Jason Marquis tied the Dodgers up. Look, when you face that kind of star power, you’re just not gonna win often, Dodgers fans. On the bright side I suppose there’s a decent chance that Vin Scully got to fill time with more legends and tales from the ancient and classical canon, so there’s that.
Phillies 0, Reds 0: SUSPENDED: This game will be picked up where it left off, scoreless in the ninth inning. They should make all the players stay in uniform on the field in the exact positions they were sitting/standing when the game was called. That would be bitchin’.
Cardinals vs. Pirates: POSTPONED: Nothing that happened in the two innings they got in will actually count. It’s like it never happened. For example, if Andrew McCutchen had murdered Yadier Molina in the first inning, he would do no jail time for it and Molina would have been resurrected. THAT’S how this rule works.