I can’t get enough of these kinds of descriptions of the Diamondbacks. In reference to the Justin Upton trade:
The Diamondbacks gave up on that magnificent yet inconsistent talent in a bid to transform the team into a scrappy, tough, aggressive unit that relies more on contact hitting than home runs, coupled with a solid rotation and a substantially beefed up bullpen.
Primal roars! Gnashing of teeth! Pounding of chests!
Unfortunately for Arizona, an injury has slowed the rebuilding plans.
Aww, the gritty he-men have boo-boos.
Meanwhile, Justin Upton takes a long, slow drink from a tall glass of lemonade, gets out of his La-Z-Boy, loafs up to the plate and hits a ball 567 feet.
But good work on that grit, Kirk and Kevin.