This has nothing to do with anything other than biding time until the friggin’ season starts already. Really, I think spring training has lasted nine weeks at this point.
Anyway: Dan Szymborski was apparently unable to sleep last night and he came up with something inspired:
Just once, I’d like to see a terrible team to simply start *declaring* wins and denouncing official standings as MLB propaganda.
— Dan Szymborski (@DSzymborski) March 19, 2013
Lose 11-0 to the Tigers?Send out a press release declaring that internal research revealed it was actually a 5-4 victory.
— Dan Szymborski (@DSzymborski) March 19, 2013
This is all in keeping with my desire to see more heel-turns and stuff in baseball. I mean, if we’re gonna create narratives for these games let’s emulate the master narrative-creators of the past century: professional wrestling producers and ministries of information for communist parties around the world.
Sorry. Real games begin soon.