Quiet Riot? Ryan Theriot’s playing career may be over

16 Comments

Ryan Theriot has failed to latch on anywhere this spring. Hank Schulman hears that he’s assessing his options:

 

Which inspires one to wonder: what is an agent’s version of TOOTBLAN?

Anyway, if this is the end for Theriot he ends his career with a line of .281/.341/.350 and 17 homers across eight big league seasons with four teams, mostly the Cubs. Such credentials make him a strong candidate for the Hall of Guys Who We Remember Playing Some Infield at Some Point Back in the Oughts.

Bryce Harper is on paternity leave

Getty Images
4 Comments

Several years ago, Bryce Harper made news when it was revealed that he thought the word “meme” was pronounced “may-may.” That may be my favorite Bryce Harper moment ever.

As it was announced by the Phillies a little while ago that Harper has been placed on paternity leave, I’m wondering if he pronounces the word “baby” “bébé.”

I wouldn’t think less of him if he did, actually. One of my favorite people in the world does that.

Anyway, congratulations to Bryce Harper on becoming a dad. And it’s good news not just for him but for the Phillies and their fans as well. Why? Because as Bill noted earlier this week, Harper seems to hit better when he’s being taunted and mocked. For now that’s not very important, as the child won’t be talking for some time. As a father of teenagers, I can tell you that eventually the little monsters live to disrespect their dear old dads. If Harper’s current motivational patterns hold, by the time that kid is ten Harper will be winning the dang Triple Crown every year.

But again, congratulations to the Harpers.