Stay classy, Joel Sherman

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I guess Joel Sherman of the New York Post decided that today was the day that he was really gonna put a middle reliever in his place. He spends a column calling Joba Chamberlain immature, saying that “the Yankees, as an organization, are tired of all the theatrics and untrustworthiness that comes with Chamberlain.”

Which, fine. It’s not exactly a newsflash that either Sherman himself and/or his sources on the Yankees don’t approve players who don’t  Know Their Place. If it wasn’t Joba it would have been someone else getting the “not a professional; not a True Yankee” treatment.  This, however, is a bit beyond the pale:

I think Chamberlain was a physical red flag no matter how he was deployed, that he never was going to have the consistency in personality or performance to thrive at any one specific role and that his immature nature always was going to be tempted by the trampolines of life.

Really? “the trampolines of life?” We can talk about whether playing on trampolines is good judgment for anyone, but you’re really going to slam the guy’s very character by reference to a horrific injury he suffered while playing with his kid?  Nice.

Ichiro wore a fake mustache to sneak into the Mariners’ dugout

Associated Press
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Ichiro Suzuki is now a Mariners employee and, as such, he’s not allowed to sit in the dugout during a game. That’s for coaches and players only.

He knows that, too. Indeed, on the day Ichiro announced his sorta-retirement, he talked about how it was going to be hard not to be down on the field with the other players. He even made a ridiculous joke about how, “[he] can’t say for certain that maybe [he] won’t put on a beard and glasses and be like Bobby Valentine and be in the dugout.”

In related news, this mysterious stranger was seen by an Associated Press photographer in the Mariners dugout during the first couple of innings of the M’s-Yankees game:

(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)

No beard, but I guess that joke was not very ridiculous after all. Either way, by the end of the second inning — poof — he was gone.

Obviously, when something interesting like this happens you mustache an expert for their opinion on the matter. To that end, the Associated Press reached Bobby Valentine, who famously did the same thing after an ejection way back in 1999, for comment:

“He was perfect. I never would have known it was him.”

Valentine was suspended for two games and fined $5,000. I’m assuming Ichiro won’t get hit quite as hard given that he wasn’t defying an umpire’s authority, but even if he does have to pay a fine, he’ll likely do so willingly.