Judges agree that, yes, the Yankees are the “Evil Empire”

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Here’s the weirdest story you’ll read today. And I promise you it’s not from the Onion.

According to Ashby Jones and Dan Barbarisi of the Wall Street Journal, a panel of trademark judges denied a request for a private entrepreneur, Evil Enterprises, Inc., to register the phrase “Baseballs Evil Empire” after the Yankees objected.

The phrase, at least in the baseball world, was coined by Red Sox president Larry Lucchino in 2002 after the Yankees signed Cuban right-hander Jose Contreras. The Yankees have come to embrace the identity of being the “Evil Empire” over the years, even playing the Imperial March from “Star Wars” during their home games. This was actually part of the Yankees’ argument in the case, as well as numerous articles mentioning them in connection with the phrase.

The best part of this whole thing might be the judges’ explanation of their ruling.

“In short, the record shows that there is only one Evil Empire in baseball and it is the New York Yankees,” wrote the judges. “Accordingly, we find that [the Yankees] have a protectable trademark right in the term . . . as used in connection with baseball.”

Classic stuff. Of course, in the opinion of some Yankees fans, they haven’t been nearly evil enough recently.

Alex Bregman shaved his mustache off in the middle of Sunday’s game

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Astros third baseman Alex Bregman apparently wasn’t happy with his mustache on Sunday afternoon as he shaved it off in between innings during his team’s contest against the Royals. Bregman walked and later scored in the Astros’ eight-run second inning, but when he took his next plate appearance in the fourth inning, he was clean-shaven.

Sometimes you just need to switch things up. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️

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Bregman made a throwing error in the seventh and finished 0-for-4 with the walk on the afternoon. The Astros won 11-3.

Bregman isn’t the only player to make headlines for his facial hair recently. Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper recently shaved his signature beard. The Yankees approve of what both players have done.