Judges agree that, yes, the Yankees are the “Evil Empire”

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Here’s the weirdest story you’ll read today. And I promise you it’s not from the Onion.

According to Ashby Jones and Dan Barbarisi of the Wall Street Journal, a panel of trademark judges denied a request for a private entrepreneur, Evil Enterprises, Inc., to register the phrase “Baseballs Evil Empire” after the Yankees objected.

The phrase, at least in the baseball world, was coined by Red Sox president Larry Lucchino in 2002 after the Yankees signed Cuban right-hander Jose Contreras. The Yankees have come to embrace the identity of being the “Evil Empire” over the years, even playing the Imperial March from “Star Wars” during their home games. This was actually part of the Yankees’ argument in the case, as well as numerous articles mentioning them in connection with the phrase.

The best part of this whole thing might be the judges’ explanation of their ruling.

“In short, the record shows that there is only one Evil Empire in baseball and it is the New York Yankees,” wrote the judges. “Accordingly, we find that [the Yankees] have a protectable trademark right in the term . . . as used in connection with baseball.”

Classic stuff. Of course, in the opinion of some Yankees fans, they haven’t been nearly evil enough recently.

Shohei Ohtani no longer facing Masahiro Tanaka on Sunday at Yankee Stadium

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Shohei Ohtani has essentially become the Angels’ designated Sunday starting pitcher, but Angels manager Mike Scioscia announced Thursday morning that the 23-year-old two-way Japanese star will be skipped in the rotation this weekend at Yankee Stadium for “workload management” purposes.

Ohtani is fine to continue hitting, so there’s no sense of any physical ailment.

This decision will rob us — and the Japanese media — of a showdown between Ohtani and countrymate Masahiro Tanaka. And for that we are rather devastated, but you can understand the Angels’ concerns about overuse.

Ohtani has registered a 3.35 ERA, 1.066 WHIP, and 52/14 K/BB ratio through his first 40 1/3 innings (seven starts) as a major league pitcher and he’s slashing .308/.364/.582 with six home runs and 19 RBI in 26 games as a part-time DH.