Judges agree that, yes, the Yankees are the “Evil Empire”

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Here’s the weirdest story you’ll read today. And I promise you it’s not from the Onion.

According to Ashby Jones and Dan Barbarisi of the Wall Street Journal, a panel of trademark judges denied a request for a private entrepreneur, Evil Enterprises, Inc., to register the phrase “Baseballs Evil Empire” after the Yankees objected.

The phrase, at least in the baseball world, was coined by Red Sox president Larry Lucchino in 2002 after the Yankees signed Cuban right-hander Jose Contreras. The Yankees have come to embrace the identity of being the “Evil Empire” over the years, even playing the Imperial March from “Star Wars” during their home games. This was actually part of the Yankees’ argument in the case, as well as numerous articles mentioning them in connection with the phrase.

The best part of this whole thing might be the judges’ explanation of their ruling.

“In short, the record shows that there is only one Evil Empire in baseball and it is the New York Yankees,” wrote the judges. “Accordingly, we find that [the Yankees] have a protectable trademark right in the term . . . as used in connection with baseball.”

Classic stuff. Of course, in the opinion of some Yankees fans, they haven’t been nearly evil enough recently.

Buyers and Sellers at the Trade Deadline: National League East

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With Manny Machado’s trade completed, the rest of baseball can now turn its attention to the non-blue chip players on the market.

Yesterday, in our look-ahead to the second half, we mentioned some of the top players likely to be made available. Today we look at each team to see who is buying, who is selling, what they’re seeking and what they have to offer. Note: almost every contender, always, needs relief help.

As a reminder, the non-waiver Trade Deadline is July 31. Players traded after that date but before August 31 need to pass through waivers unclaimed before they can be traded. All players traded before August 31 are eligible to be on their new team’s playoff roster should they make the postseason.

Next up, the National League East:

Phillies
Status: Buyers. They were a serious contender for Manny Machado until the closing bell.
Wanted: They could really use a third baseman or a shortstop, so expect them to bid hard for Mike Moustakas or Eduardo Escobar should the Twins make him available.

Braves
Status: Buyers. They were in on the Manny Machado talks too but not that in, it seems. They mortgaged their future for a star once when they traded for Mark Teixeira back in the day and weren’t likely to do it again. Aren’t likely to do it even on a smaller scale in the coming weeks.
Wanted: Some bullpen help. A starter if one can be found cheap. A bench bat. They have a loaded farm system and contention wasn’t really supposed to happen until next year, so they’ll be cautious in anything they do.

Nationals
Status: Buyers. They already acquired Kelvin Herrera. They’ll seek to acquire more.
Wanted: Catcher. J.T. Realmuto would be a big get but the Marlins seem to want to build around him or, at the very least, seem to not want to give him to a division rival. There had been talks of a Wilson Ramos reunion, but he was just placed on the DL with a bum hamstring, so that may not be happening.

Mets
Status: Sellers. Probably. They need to figure out where in the hell the organization is heading first. This year is a lost cause, but do they gear up for next year or just burn it all down and try to rebuild?
For Sale: Maybe Noah Syndergaard and/or Jacob deGrom if they take the “burn it all down” approach. If they just try to retrench for next year, they could deal Jerry Blevins and, perhaps, Zach Wheeler or Steven Matz. Jeurys Familia and second baseman Asdrubal Cabrera are both free agents after this year so they could be shopped regardless.

Marlins
Status: Sellers. They’re still in the frame-up portion of their rebuild.
For Sale: Assuming Realmuto does not go, any reliever who isn’t nailed down might be flipped. Put your bids in now for Kyle Barraclough, Drew Steckenrider, Brad Ziegler and Adam Conley. If it’s position players you seek, feel free to ask the Marlins about Starlin Castro, Justin Bour, Derek Dietrich or Miguel Rojas.