Zack Greinke explored the possibility of taking a helicopter to Dodger Stadium

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Bill Plunkett of the Orange County-Register has a piece up about new Dodgers’ right-hander Zack Greinke, who went into detail yesterday about his social anxiety disorder. In short, he hasn’t really had an issue since 2007 and still takes Zoloft daily.

While some have speculated about how Greinke will respond to playing under the microscope in Los Angeles, that isn’t really on his mind. He’s much more worried about the traffic. In fact, he explored the possibility of taking a helicopter to Dodger Stadium in order to make his commute easier. Alas, it’s not going to happen.

“I did. I looked into it but I don’t think you can land at the stadium,” Greinke said. “It’s not as easy as it sounds.”

Hey, these are things that sound practical for someone who just signed a six-year, $147 million contract. I wonder if he got this idea from watching Steve Nebraska in “The Scout.”

Ichiro wore a fake mustache to sneak into the Mariners’ dugout

Associated Press
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Ichiro Suzuki is now a Mariners employee and, as such, he’s not allowed to sit in the dugout during a game. That’s for coaches and players only.

He knows that, too. Indeed, on the day Ichiro announced his sorta-retirement, he talked about how it was going to be hard not to be down on the field with the other players. He even made a ridiculous joke about how, “[he] can’t say for certain that maybe [he] won’t put on a beard and glasses and be like Bobby Valentine and be in the dugout.”

In related news, this mysterious stranger was seen by an Associated Press photographer in the Mariners dugout during the first couple of innings of the M’s-Yankees game:

(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)

No beard, but I guess that joke was not very ridiculous after all. Either way, by the end of the second inning — poof — he was gone.

Obviously, when something interesting like this happens you mustache an expert for their opinion on the matter. To that end, the Associated Press reached Bobby Valentine, who famously did the same thing after an ejection way back in 1999, for comment:

“He was perfect. I never would have known it was him.”

Valentine was suspended for two games and fined $5,000. I’m assuming Ichiro won’t get hit quite as hard given that he wasn’t defying an umpire’s authority, but even if he does have to pay a fine, he’ll likely do so willingly.