Francisco Liriano broke his arm while “trying to startle his kids” on Christmas morning

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Francisco Liriano cost himself a lot of guaranteed money when he broke his non-pitching arm this offseason. The Pirates tore up a two-year, $12.75 million deal and it was replaced with one that only guarantees him $1 million. He can get it all back if he achieves certain benchmarks and has his 2014 option vest, but it’s still a lot more risk because of a freak accident.

Or was it a freak accident? In January it was reported in a Dominican Republic newspaper that he broke his arm “in a bathroom fall.” But Liriano reported to Pirates camp in Bradenton today, and this is the story he gave:

The father in me is wondering if the starling was of the “bang hard on a door to make the kids think Santa Claus is trying to come in the house or something weird like that” variety or the “these monsters are hyper as hell and I need to get their attention so I’m gonna bang it on this door” variety.

Either way: man, what a way to potentially cost yourself $11 million bucks.

Liriano also said he needs four more weeks of rehab before he can throw off a mound.

Clayton Kershaw might return to the Dodgers’ rotation next week

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Dodgers southpaw Clayton Kershaw is nearing his return to the mound, according to club manager Dave Roberts. Both Kershaw (left biceps tendinitis) and fellow lefty Rich Hill (left middle finger blister) are scheduled to toss simulated games on Saturday; depending on the outcome, Roberts says Kershaw could forgo a minor league assignment and slot back into the rotation by Thursday.

Kershaw, 30, was diagnosed with biceps tendinitis as the team closed out their Mexico Series at the start of the month. He has not made a start in several weeks, but was finally able to resume throwing on Sunday and managed to get through two successful bullpen sessions. Though Dodgers’ ace hasn’t been completely injury-free over his 11-year career in the majors, this is the first significant issue he’s had with his pitching arm so far. The team is expected to take every precaution with the lefty, and will likely limit him to just four innings during Saturday’s simulated game.

Prior to his injury, Kershaw was working on another dominant run with the club, sporting a 2.86 ERA, 2.0 BB/9 and 9.8 SO/9 through his first 44 innings of the season. While Kershaw, Hill and left-handed starter Hyun-Jin Ryu served their respective terms on the disabled list this month, the Dodgers utilized a combination of relievers Ross Stripling and Brock Stewart, both of whom impressed during their limited time in the rotation.