Our long national nightmare is over: Youk texts Joba

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A couple of weeks ago we were hipped to the other big Yankees drama this offseason: whether Kevin Youkilis was ever going to return that voice mail Joba Chamberlain left him after Youkilis signed with New York. IS THE HATCHET TRULY BURIED? some wondered, eager with anticipation.

The answer: yes. It’s buried:

Yankees reliever Joba Chamberlain said he’s received a text message from new teammate Kevin Youkilis and hopes whatever tension existed between the two is past.

Or is it? Because let’s face it: an actual call is more significant than a text, right? Joba CALLED Kevin! And all Kevin can do is text him back? Like, whatever. The only way to disrespect him more is to try to Facebook-message him, am I right? Kevin may think he’s patched things up, but when everyone comes back to class after summer vacation, I think he’s going to find that he’s getting the cold shoulder in the cafeteria.

Er, the clubhouse. I meant the clubhouse. Because this is not junior high school. Not at all.

Police: Felipe Vázquez admitted to trying to have sex with a 13 year-old

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Yesterday’s news about the arrest of Pirates closer Felipe Vázquez was pretty disturbing. Today’s update from Jeff Passan of ESPN is even worse.

Vázquez has been charged with solicitation of a child and providing obscene material to minors, and yesterday’s report said that he texted a 15-year-old girl that he would meet up with her after the season for sex. According to police, however, Vázquez had already met with a minor in an attempt to have sex. When she was 13:

Yesterday Vázquez’s attorney, Jay Reisinger, issued a statement saying “We are in the process of reviewing both the Pennsylvania and Florida charging documents, as well as the underlying facts of the matter.  At this time, any comment would be premature.”

The Pennsylvania charges referenced involve an alleged statutory sexual assault of a victim who is at least 16 years old by a person who is at least 11 years older than the victim; unlawful contact with a minor; corruption of a minor by a defendant who is 18 years old or older; and indecent assault of a person less than 16 years old. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported last night that the offenses allegedly occurred on Aug. 1, 2018.

Vázquez is still in Pennsylvania, where he was arrested, and is awaiting extradition to Florida. He was denied bail and was characterized by the arraigning judge as a flight risk. Likely because he is a native and citizen of a foreign country with substantial financial resources.

UPDATE: I had missed this previously, but the Pirates issued a statement about all of this yesterday afternoon: