Our long national nightmare is over: Youk texts Joba

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A couple of weeks ago we were hipped to the other big Yankees drama this offseason: whether Kevin Youkilis was ever going to return that voice mail Joba Chamberlain left him after Youkilis signed with New York. IS THE HATCHET TRULY BURIED? some wondered, eager with anticipation.

The answer: yes. It’s buried:

Yankees reliever Joba Chamberlain said he’s received a text message from new teammate Kevin Youkilis and hopes whatever tension existed between the two is past.

Or is it? Because let’s face it: an actual call is more significant than a text, right? Joba CALLED Kevin! And all Kevin can do is text him back? Like, whatever. The only way to disrespect him more is to try to Facebook-message him, am I right? Kevin may think he’s patched things up, but when everyone comes back to class after summer vacation, I think he’s going to find that he’s getting the cold shoulder in the cafeteria.

Er, the clubhouse. I meant the clubhouse. Because this is not junior high school. Not at all.

Brayan Peña announces retirement

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Catcher Brayan Peña announced his retirement on Monday evening via his Twitter account:

Peña, 36, signed a minor league contract with the Tigers in January but the club ended up going with catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia for their Triple-A roster.

Peña spent parts of 12 seasons in the majors with the Braves, Royals, Tigers, Reds, and Cardinals from 2005-16. He hit .259/.299/.351 in 1,950 plate appearances.

With his playing days behind him, Peña will transition into coaching. He will manage one of the Tigers’ Gulf Coast League teams, George Sipple of the Free Press reports.