Advice to A-Rod that, if taken, will make people’s heads explode

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I doubt A-Rod would take this advice. He’s gone in with a full denial and likely will keep that up until he either skates clear or gets suspended by Major League Baseball. But if A-Rod really and truly wanted to try something novel and fun he’d ignore all those people who are suggesting he try to commit insurance fraud and simply own up to taking PEDs. Not out of a sense of responsibility, but out of a sense of pure unadulterated mischief.

He should walk into Bud Selig’s office tomorrow morning, put his good leg up on the desk and say “Bud, gotta tell ya. I took PEDs last year. I was rotten with the stuff. I’ll sign an affidavit to that effect right now and agree to waive any appeal of discipline. Give me my 50 game suspension, please.”

His suspension would then begin on Opening Day and last until Monday, May 27. All the while A-Rod was on the disabled list rehabbing from his hip surgery.  He’d be out money, but he’d not miss a single game that he’d otherwise play in. The Joint Drug Agreement allows it.  Edinson Volquez and Freddy Galvis each served their own PED suspensions while on the DL.  There’s no way around it.

And when it happened, the media’s collective heads would explode. The outrage would be so great it would create shortages. The government would only allow you to have outrage, like, every other day depending on whether your license plate ends in an odd or even number. We’d be on an outrage war footing, really.

He won’t do it. But man, if he did, it’d be glorious.

Mark Lowe wants to attempt a comeback

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Reliever Mark Lowe wants to make a comeback, Jerry Crasnick reports. The 35-year-old veteran is working out in Portland, Oregon and would take an opportunity to pitch overseas as well as a minor league contract with an invitation to spring training.

Lowe signed a minor league deal with the Dodgers back in January, but was cut in the middle of March and didn’t end up signing with another team. He last pitched in the majors in 2016 with the Tigers. Across parts of 11 seasons, Lowe has a career 4.22 ERA with 352 strikeouts and 163 walks in 385 2/3 innings. Lowe spent 2017 at Triple-A for the Mariners and White Sox, compiling a devilish 6.66 ERA in aggregate across 48 2/3 innings.