The Yankees are apparently junior high schoolers now

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Sometimes I think that covering the Yankees is like covering junior high school. Except even junior high school news can be more substantive than “She called him! Did he ever call her back?!!”

Kevin Youkilis never had a problem letting Joba Chamberlain know how he felt on the field, but he’s giving him the silent treatment now. Chamberlain — who had a longtime feud with Youkilis while the third baseman was on the Red Sox — said the new Yankee never returned the voicemail the pitcher left him after Youkilis signed with the Bombers in December. Is it lingering bad blood or just bad cell phone service? We probably won’t know until the new teammates — or is it frenemies? — actually talk to each other.

Further reports indicate that Chamberlain’s best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Youkilis pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

In other news, the Yankees need to sign someone or make a trade or something because I think their beat writers are going a bit loopy.

Masahiro Tanaka throws two-hit shutout vs. Rays

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Yankees starter Masahiro Tanaka went the distance, holding the Rays scoreless on two hits and one walk with 10 strikeouts across nine innings on Monday night in the Bronx. It’s the fourth shutout of his career, accounting for four of the Yankees’ last six shutouts. The other two were thrown my Luis Severino and Brandon McCarthy.

DJ LeMahieu provided the bulk of the offense, swatting a two-run home run off of Yonny Chirinos in the third inning. Cameron Maybin tacked on a solo homer off of Chirinos in the fifth as the Yankees went on to win 3-0.

After Monday’s performance, Tanaka owns a 3.23 ERA with 84 strikeouts and 20 walks across 92 innings on the season.

With the win, the Yankees increase their lead over the Rays for first place in the AL East to 1.5 games.