The Yankees are apparently junior high schoolers now

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Sometimes I think that covering the Yankees is like covering junior high school. Except even junior high school news can be more substantive than “She called him! Did he ever call her back?!!”

Kevin Youkilis never had a problem letting Joba Chamberlain know how he felt on the field, but he’s giving him the silent treatment now. Chamberlain — who had a longtime feud with Youkilis while the third baseman was on the Red Sox — said the new Yankee never returned the voicemail the pitcher left him after Youkilis signed with the Bombers in December. Is it lingering bad blood or just bad cell phone service? We probably won’t know until the new teammates — or is it frenemies? — actually talk to each other.

Further reports indicate that Chamberlain’s best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Youkilis pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

In other news, the Yankees need to sign someone or make a trade or something because I think their beat writers are going a bit loopy.

Starling Marte carted off field after outfield collision

Starling Marte
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Pirates center fielder Starling Marte was carted off the field during the eighth inning of Friday’s contest against the Giants. Marte was racing in to field a fly ball from Yangervis Solarte when he collided at full speed with shortstop Erik González. The two were knocked down by the impact and quickly attended to by the Pirates’ staff, who helped Marte sit up on a cart and removed him from the game.

The extent of either player’s injuries, if any, have yet to be revealed. Following the incident, both Marte and González were officially removed from the lineup, with JB Shuck shifting from left to center field, Jung Ho Kang moving over to shortstop, Colin Moran covering third base, and Jason Martin in the left field corner.

The Pirates currently lead the Giants 4-1 in the ninth.