The Rockies are “aggressively pursuing” Carl Pavano and Derek Lowe

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The Rockies are cornering the market on lousy pitchers. After the weekend’s signings of Miguel Batista and Chris Volstad, Troy Renck of the Denver Post reports that they aren’t through yet:

Even with Volstad in the fold, the Rockies are aggressively pursuing free agents Carl Pavano, a right-hander they have tried to acquire numerous times over the last few seasons, and Derek Lowe, a sinkerballer who has pitched well at Coors Field. The Rockies would like to finalize a deal with another veteran this week.

A lot of people have had aggressive feelings with respect to Pavano and Lowe over the past couple of seasons, but it’s mostly been the “God, I want to kill that guy” kind of aggression, and it has been on part of the fan base of the teams for which they’ve played. This whole thing in which a general manager wants them badly for his team is rather new.

Anyway, this news comes, Renck notes, after the Rockies failed to sign Kevin Correia, Kyle McClellan and Aaron Cook.  I guess if you throw enough mediocre-at-best arms against the wall, some of it is gonna stick.

Tom Brady’s bid to trademark ‘Tom Terrific’ rejected

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Remember back in June when New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady attempted to trademark “Tom Terrific?” And how everyone laughed at him because anyone who knows the first thing about sports knows that Tom Seaver, not Brady, was the first — and, frankly, only — “Tom Terrific?”

Well, our laughing was validated because his application was rejected by the Patent and Trademark Office because of a “false connection” with Tom Seaver. That’s the report from trademark lawyer Josh Gerben, who analyzes Brady’s failed bid here:

Next up on Great Moments in Hubris, I presume, will be my often ridiculous alma mater. But for now:

Sit down, son.