Jose Canseco’s New Year’s resolutions are about what you’d expect

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I typically don’t make New Year’s resolutions because they’re always boring and banal. I always want to get in better shape, write more and travel. I wish I was more creative. Like Jose Canseco was with his New Year’s resolutions this year, announced on his Twitter account by saying “Here are my new years resolutions top ten what are yours”.

And no, I didn’t mistype these. He had two number fives, which I think is a pretty clever way to show that he’s into these resolutions 110%!

1. spend more time with my daughter
2. get stronger and fitter
3. help people who are getting screwed wherever i can
4. return to pro baseball as player or manager and have dinners with McGwire, La Russa, Bonds, and Selig.
5. Fight Shaq in MMA cage match
5. develop and launch Ponce de CAnseco a real anti aging drink
6. Get elected to a important political office in the U.S. or canada to help all people and governments with there problems
7. Become a world class entreprenur and found at least two great companies that make peoples lives better and funner
8. Write a third book and do a move deal for Juiced!
9. Do at least 100 promotional deals for good companies and products like Animal Rights, Human health, Environmental, and Beer companies
10. Use position as A List entertainer doing reality, TV, movies, blogs, columns, appearances to be able to do more charity

Laugh all you want, but you can’t say Canseco isn’t ambitious.

Yasiel Puig’s house robbed for the fourth time

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Yasiel Puig lives in Sherman Oaks, a Los Angeles neighborhood in the valley. It’s pretty nice for normies like you and me. His house cost nearly $2 million. But it’s not some gated community where super rich people live and, really, $1.8 million for a house in L.A. is not a ton when you’re a pro athlete or a celebrity of some kind. As we wrote back in 2015 when he bought the place, it’s kinda boring for a rich and famous person. It’s something of a McMansion that, like, a fairly successful dentist might own.

Whatever you think of the aesthetics of it, perhaps he should consider relocating to one of those gated communities, because the current place is not meeting his needs, security wise. From TMZ:

Yasiel Puig really needs to do something about his home security, ’cause he was burglarized yet again — the 4TH TIME he’s been hit … TMZ Sports has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell us cops were called to Puig’s San Fernando Valley home Tuesday night around 8 PM after one of the Dodger’s assistants got a security alert on his phone, which showed 3 men leaving Puig’s property.

Yasiel has a security camera set up that captures motion, and it automatically sends the video to a cell phone programmed to receive it. When Yasiel’s associate saw the footage, he immediately called police … but the bad guys had already fled.

TMZ notes that Puig was robbed during spring training in 2017, during last year’s World Series and again just last month.

The entire world knows when Puig is home and when he isn’t, so if he’s going to keep living on a cul-de-sac like anyone else, might I suggest that he get a couple of dogs or a house sitter or a security guard or something? Just throwing it out there!