Jose Canseco’s New Year’s resolutions are about what you’d expect

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I typically don’t make New Year’s resolutions because they’re always boring and banal. I always want to get in better shape, write more and travel. I wish I was more creative. Like Jose Canseco was with his New Year’s resolutions this year, announced on his Twitter account by saying “Here are my new years resolutions top ten what are yours”.

And no, I didn’t mistype these. He had two number fives, which I think is a pretty clever way to show that he’s into these resolutions 110%!

1. spend more time with my daughter
2. get stronger and fitter
3. help people who are getting screwed wherever i can
4. return to pro baseball as player or manager and have dinners with McGwire, La Russa, Bonds, and Selig.
5. Fight Shaq in MMA cage match
5. develop and launch Ponce de CAnseco a real anti aging drink
6. Get elected to a important political office in the U.S. or canada to help all people and governments with there problems
7. Become a world class entreprenur and found at least two great companies that make peoples lives better and funner
8. Write a third book and do a move deal for Juiced!
9. Do at least 100 promotional deals for good companies and products like Animal Rights, Human health, Environmental, and Beer companies
10. Use position as A List entertainer doing reality, TV, movies, blogs, columns, appearances to be able to do more charity

Laugh all you want, but you can’t say Canseco isn’t ambitious.

Kenley Jansen gives up two homers, loses game in his return

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Dodgers closer Kenley Jansen was activated yesterday after missing ten days due to an irregular heartbeat. He says he feels great. That’s good!

Jansen also allowed back-to-back homers after entering a tie game in the ninth inning of last night’s game against the St. Louis Cardinals, picking up the loss. Jedd Gyorko and Matt Carpenter did the honors. That’s . . . not so good! At least not for Jansen and the Dodgers.

Jansen said after the game that he was healthy, but that his pitchers were simply flat. One has to assume it’s a matter of rust. And a matter of Matt Carpenter hitting a boatload of homers this year, and at some point there is only so much you can do to stop him. Bad result, of course.