The time Louis C.K. met Luis Tiant

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This made me laugh, for some reason.

Louis C.K. gave this answer as part of a questionnaire he filled out for Vanity Fair magazine’s comedy issue:

When and where were you happiest?

I got Luis Tiant’s autograph at a paint store when I was nine years old. Some local paint store hired him to sit at a table for a day and autograph these leaflets advertising their special prices on paints. He looked miserable. I remember thinking, This is the best moment of my entire life and the worst moment of his. Luis Tiant was a pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, by the way.

C.K. was nine years old in 1976, when a 35-year-old Luis Tiant went 21-12 with a 3.07 ERA in 279 innings for the Red Sox. Tiant never won more than 13 games in a season again, so maybe that paint store experience is to blame.

Padres, Rockies set new modern era record with 92 combined runs in four-game series

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The Padres and Rockies combined to score 92 runs across a four-game series between Thursday and Sunday at Coors Field, setting a new modern era major league record. The previous record was 89 combined runs scored by the Phillies and Brooklyn Dodgers in four games between May 16-18, 1929.

The Rockies won Thursday’s game 9-6. The Padres scored six runs in the ninth inning on Tuesday to overcome an 11-5 deficit and ended up winning 16-12 in 12 innings. The Rockies won 14-8 on Saturday. On Sunday, the Rockies brought a 13-10 lead into the ninth inning, but Wade Davis and Jon Gray combined to allow four runs. Kirby Yates held the Rockies scoreless in the bottom half of the ninth to secure the 14-13 win for the Padres. Thanks to two wild comebacks by the Padres, they split the series.

Along with 92 runs, the Padres and Rockies combined for 131 hits of which 17 were home runs. Charlie Blackmon had four hits in the first three games and three hits on Sunday, overall going 15-for-24 with four homers and 10 RBI.