David Ortiz’s contract includes incentives based on his Achilles injury

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David Ortiz finalized a two-year, $26 million contract with the Red Sox earlier today. But he could make more if he stays healthy.

Rob Bradford of WEEI.com was told by a baseball source that Ortiz’s contract includes specific language regarding the right Achilles tendon injury which limited him to just 90 games this season. The new deal currently calls for him to make an $11 million base salary in 2014, but his salary will be bumped up to $15 million if he misses 20 or fewer days on the disabled list in 2013 due to the injury. That would bring the total value of the deal to $30 million.

Ortiz, who turns 37 later this month, underwent ultrasound treatment on his Achilles tendon early last month. The veteran slugger is currently in rehab mode, but he’s expected to be ready for spring training.

Tom Brady’s bid to trademark ‘Tom Terrific’ rejected

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Remember back in June when New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady attempted to trademark “Tom Terrific?” And how everyone laughed at him because anyone who knows the first thing about sports knows that Tom Seaver, not Brady, was the first — and, frankly, only — “Tom Terrific?”

Well, our laughing was validated because his application was rejected by the Patent and Trademark Office because of a “false connection” with Tom Seaver. That’s the report from trademark lawyer Josh Gerben, who analyzes Brady’s failed bid here:

Next up on Great Moments in Hubris, I presume, will be my often ridiculous alma mater. But for now:

Sit down, son.