Wishing for vuvuzelas

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Or ThunderStix. Or whistles. Or any of the many, many things that aren’t as offensive as this:

The Braves plan to have 45,000 foam tomahawks chopping in unison when they face St. Louis on Friday at 5:07 p.m. in the National League Wild Card game … The first 45,000 ticket-holders through the gates will get a free foam tomahawk.

I love and will root for my team, but I will never understand how they think it’s cool to encourage 1940s-western movie war whooping and tomahawk chopping and all of that in the 21st freaking century. I get that it started kinda spontaneously and out of excitement some 21 years ago, but there is no escaping that this is offensive and I wish they’d cut it out.

Mets sign Matt Kemp to minor league deal

Matt Kemp
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The Mets have had a lot of injuries in their outfield. How many? So many that they’re bringing in Matt Kemp, who they just signed on a minor league deal. Hey, why not? He’s functionally free.

Kemp was released by the Reds earlier this month after batting just .200/.210/.283 over 62 plate appearances. While he was a pretty useful player for the first half of the 2018 season for the Dodgers, the odds of him making major contributions to the Mets this year are probably about the same odds there were on Adrián González making an impact when the Mets signed him last year. But again: what’s the harm?