“Lip Sweaters”

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I think that’s the real takeaway here. That Dan Hayes of CSNChicago.com — or his headline writer if it wasn’t him — used the term “lip sweater” to describe a mustache. And that’s even more gross than “soup strainer.”

In any event, Adam Dunn and Paul Konerko had mustaches they were growing as some sort of motivational/tribute thing, decided to get rid of them at some point, but then couldn’t because they went on a winning streak. And as everyone knows, a player on a streak has to respect the streak. The Donkey knows this:

“My mustache was getting horrible,” Dunn said. “I wanted to cut it a few days ago, but we were winning games. I went as long as I could. I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror. It was bad. Can you imagine if we cut it and went in the tank? People would blame the ‘stache.”

Now we have, er, pretty Adam Dunn back.

Cubs acquire Martín Maldonado from the Royals

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Last night Cubs catcher Willson Contreras was placed on the injured list with a strained muscle in his right foot. That injury inspired the Cubs to go out and get another catcher. They acquired Martín Maldonado in a trade with Kansas City in exchange for lefty Mike Montgomery, in a deal that was announced after the Cubs loss to the Reds.

Maldonado, 32, was a Gold Glove winner in 2017 with the Angels. At the moment he’s hitting .227 with six homers and 17 RBIs in 74 games. Obviously, though, defense is his calling card, as he’s a .220 career hitter with 57 homers and 210 RBIs in 686 games.

Montgomery, 30, is 1-2 with a 5.67 ERA in 20 relief appearances for the Cubs this year. He’s heading back to where his pro career began. He was drafted by Kanas City in 2008, though he was traded away in the James Shields/Wade David/Wil Myers deal in 2012. He made his big league debut for Seattle in 2015. Dayton Moore said last night that the Royals plan to use Montgomery in the rotation as a replacement for Homer Bailey, who was dealt to Oakland on Sunday.