Must-Click Link: The Epic Story of Johnny Damon’s Attempt to Throw a Ball to Home Plate

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If you’re one of those people who like to post comments after non-newsy articles saying “slow news day, huh?” you’ll just want to move along and not read this.

If, however, you are into epic tales of weak-armed outfielders like Johnny Damon, vainly attempting to throw runners out at home plate, this bit of genius from Jon Bois might be up your alley. I’ll give you only the conclusion. The corpus of the stories has to be read in its entirety:

And that is the story of every Johnny Damon throw from the outfield. It’s sure to involve bears, goblins, civil uprisings, spacecraft, underwater observatories, love, hate, revenge, sword fights atop city skyscrapers, fear, hope, and ultimately, dread.

In other words, everything can and will happen. Except for actually throwing the runner out.

And every fan of every team knows of one outfielder who could easily be substituted into that story. Mostly Johnny Damon, but there are some other guys too.

Brewers sign Freddy Peralta to a multi-year deal

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Ken Rosenthal reports that the Milwaukee Brewers have agreed to a five-year $15.5 million deal with pitcher Freddy Peralta. There are two club options as well, which would nearly double the overall value of the contract if exercised.

Peralta, who turns 24 in June, has amazing stuff. He has struggled so far, having posted a 4.79 ERA in 163.1 major league innings across two seasons, but people who follow him closely believe that he’s primed for a breakthrough. For now he’s a reliever — he’ll likely be a multi-inning fireman for the 2020 season — but he has was mostly a starter in his rookie year before assuming swingman duties last season. He could become one again if things break right in his development. Sort of a Brandon Woodruff track.

If that happens the Brewers will, quite obviously, have a bargain on their hands. If not, at least Peralta has some security on his.