Must-Click Link: The Epic Story of Johnny Damon’s Attempt to Throw a Ball to Home Plate

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If you’re one of those people who like to post comments after non-newsy articles saying “slow news day, huh?” you’ll just want to move along and not read this.

If, however, you are into epic tales of weak-armed outfielders like Johnny Damon, vainly attempting to throw runners out at home plate, this bit of genius from Jon Bois might be up your alley. I’ll give you only the conclusion. The corpus of the stories has to be read in its entirety:

And that is the story of every Johnny Damon throw from the outfield. It’s sure to involve bears, goblins, civil uprisings, spacecraft, underwater observatories, love, hate, revenge, sword fights atop city skyscrapers, fear, hope, and ultimately, dread.

In other words, everything can and will happen. Except for actually throwing the runner out.

And every fan of every team knows of one outfielder who could easily be substituted into that story. Mostly Johnny Damon, but there are some other guys too.

Marlins give Don Mattingly two-year extension

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The Marlins have announced that they have inked manager Don Mattingly to a two-year contract extensions. There’s a third year in the form of a mutual option.

Mattingly is finishing up the final year of the four-year contract he signed with the Marlins prior to the 2016 season. He’s 272-364 in that period and the club has lost 99 games already this season. The current bad run, however, obviously corresponds with a massive rebuild the team began undertaking following the 2017 season and the team’s change in ownership. Mattingly has not had much to work with over the past two seasons but he has likewise, largely, kept the team on as even a keel as one could hope under the circumstances. He has certainly impressed the Marlins’ brass enough to take the unusual step of keeping on a manager they inherited from a previous ownership and front office group.

In other news, the Marlins also announced a two-year contract extension for shortstop Miguel Rojas valued at $10.25 million. There’s a vesting option for a third year. The deal buys out Rojas’ final year of arbitration eligibility and one year of free agency, plus that option.

Rojas, 30, is hitting .285/.335/.383 (OPS+ 92) this year.