Looking at Chipperish

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We’ve had mammo fun with Chipper Jones’ nearly incomprehensible Twitter feed. Today Chris Jones of ESPN the Magazine dives deeper into one of the more unexpected developments of the season:

In hindsight, his first tweet — “Yes, the ol man finally got the twitta!” — was a sign of the weirdness that was to come. The first whispers started: Is Chipper Jones illiterate? Did he get beaned last night? Every night, Jones made Twitter part of his rigid routine, and every morning, a growing band of linguists tried to translate. (There isn’t a name yet for his language. I’d like to nominate Chipperish — Chipper plus English. Also, it rhymes with gibberish.)

Not gonna lie. I’m kind of worried that once Jones retires and doesn’t have anything serious like actual baseball games to reign him in that he’s going to go full-Busey on us.

Tom Brady’s bid to trademark ‘Tom Terrific’ rejected

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Remember back in June when New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady attempted to trademark “Tom Terrific?” And how everyone laughed at him because anyone who knows the first thing about sports knows that Tom Seaver, not Brady, was the first — and, frankly, only — “Tom Terrific?”

Well, our laughing was validated because his application was rejected by the Patent and Trademark Office because of a “false connection” with Tom Seaver. That’s the report from trademark lawyer Josh Gerben, who analyzes Brady’s failed bid here:

Next up on Great Moments in Hubris, I presume, will be my often ridiculous alma mater. But for now:

Sit down, son.