Roger Clemens is gonna pitch again

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The Rocket returns. No, not to the majors, but he will be pitching again:

Sugar Land Skeeters president Matt O’Brien and Roger Clemens’ agent Randy Hendricks told FOX 26 Sports that Roger Clemens worked out for the Skeeters today and will sign with the team.

Hendricks and O’Brien told FOX Clemens will start for the Skeeters this Saturday in Sugar Land.

Skeeters officials said Clemens had a full workout today, was clocked at 87 mph and is in great shape.

Sugar Land is in the Atlantic League in independent ball so it’s not like it should be too hard to crack that rotation. I mean, if the Skeeters didn’t want him, the only other place around with lower standards would be prison leagues and the Houston Astros.

Now: we need the Lancaster Barnstormers to sign Barry Bonds so that everyone’s head can explode at once.

Brandon Crawford homers off brother-in-law Gerrit Cole

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You can’t pick your family and no one knows that better than Giants shortstop Brandon Crawford. His sister Amy married Astros starter Gerrit Cole in November 2016, so the two players are brothers-in-law.

The two players have matched up against each other 18 times in the past, as Cole spent his first five seasons in the National League with the Pirates. Cole often won that battle, holding Crawford to four hits — all singles — in 18 plate appearances.

Crawford finally got the better of Cole on Tuesday night, hitting a line drive into the appropriately-named Crawford Boxes at Minute Maid Park for a two-run home run, cutting the Astros’ lead to 5-2.