Ben Sheets admits he’s a zombie

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After a series of injuries and surgeries that made everyone this side of Rich Harden say “damn!” Ben Sheets has been pretty effective since his comeback with the Braves began.  But he did get beat up on Sunday, and it was suggested that perhaps he had dead arm.

Dave O’Brien of the AJC reports, however, that it’s a far greater problem:

But Sheets said Tuesday he would characterize it more as “dead body” now that he’s six starts into his comeback after two years out of baseball following multiple elbow operations.

“My whole body felt dead,” Sheets said. “I was like ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ guy. I was like Bernie.”

Except there’s no lovely 1980s-era Catherine Mary Stewart to keep us interested in these proceedings.

Um, I may have said too much there. I’ll be back later. Gonna go watch “Night of the Comet” for the 500th time.

Report: Astros, Michael Brantley agree to two-year, $32 million contract

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Ken Rosenthal of The Athletic reports that the Astros and outfielder Michael Brantley are closing in on an agreement for a two-year contract in the $32 million range.

Brantley, 31, played a mostly full season last year for the first time since 2015. He hit .309/.364/.468 with 17 home runs, 76 RBI, 89 runs scored, and 12 stolen bases in 631 plate appearances. He made the AL All-Star squad for the third time in his career.

Brantley’s health, though, is why he had to settle for a two-year deal as opposed to a longer contract for a player of his caliber. He will take over in left field. In the event Brantley succumbs to injury woes, the Astros have top prospect Kyle Tucker waiting in the wings.

Update: According to Jeff Passan of Yahoo Sports, who also reports that the deal is in place, the Astros plan to rotate Brantley between left field, first base, and DH. That opens up some more playing time for Tucker.