UPDATE: Wally the Green Monster has been found

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UPDATE: Our 45-minute national nightmare is over:

 

3:20 PM: What in the name of Bruno Hauptmann …

Hopefully it’s just the costume and not the sweaty, underpaid college kid inside of it too.

Either way, thoughts, prayers, etc.

Pirates pitcher Steven Brault sang the National Anthem last night

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Pittsburgh Pirates swingman Steven Brault has a 4.38 ERA in 19 games this year. He also has a music degree and is a professional singer on the side of his baseball gig. He didn’t get into last night’s game against the Brewers as a pitcher, but he did get to use his singing skills.

Specifically, Brault got to sing the National Anthem. And he did an OK job of it too. He’s not Whitney Houston or anything, but he did what all Anthem singers who are not as gifted as Whitney Houston was should do: he kept it straight and businesslike, avoiding unnecessary flourishes:

It’s march, dang it, not a ballad, and it should be treated as such. Unless of course you’re Whitney Houston.