Someone get Chipper Jones his medication

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Chipper Jones just got his Twitter account a couple of days ago.  He probably never would have gotten one, but someone created a well-followed fake one in recent days, and someone with MLB or the Braves convinced Jones to make an official one so people would know the difference between his and the fake.

It was not expected that he’d actually tweet too much because (a) Chipper Jones is kinda old; and (b) he strikes everyone as the kind of guy who doesn’t have much use for technology more advanced than a rifle scope.

But he has been tweeting a bit lately. And the results are … interesting:

Uh, what?

Nope. I’m more speechless than anything, thanks.

But as a big fan of yours, Chipper, a Braves fan in general and a man well-aware of how hard it is to not look silly as he approaches 40,  I ask that you please hit .400 for the rest of the season and win the World Series while operating under radio silence. You may then retire, take over as Braves manager for Fredi Gonzalez and institute a no-tweeting policy for all of your players.

Thanks!

Aaron Boone receives one-game suspension for explosive tirade

Aaron Boone
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Yankees manager Aaron Boone has been suspended and fined for his actions during Thursday’s doubleheader against the Rays. Boone was ejected from Game 1 after making contact with home plate umpire Brennan Miller and will not be available to manage the Yankees during their series opener against the Rockies on Friday.

The ejection was triggered by a missed strikeout call in the second inning of Game 1, prompting Boone to run out to home plate and deliver one of his lengthier and more bizarre rants of the season. Incensed by Miller’s shaky grasp of the strike zone, Boone repeatedly referred to his players as “f***ing savages” and told the umpire to “tighten this s**t up.”

Exactly when the illicit contact came into play remains unclear, but crew chief Gerry Davis later commented on the situation and said Boone had crossed some boundaries during his tirade. Per MLB.com’s Bryan Hoch: “You’re not allowed to argue balls and strikes, so yeah. Yes he did [go too far]. That will all be in the report.”

In his own statements to the press, Boone defended his use of the word “savages,” claiming, “I always just want our guys all the time controlling the strike zone and making it hard on the pitchers. That’s something those guys take a lot of pride in as a lineup.” Several Yankees players, including Luke Voit and Aaron Judge, backed up the skipper’s decision to confront Miller as well, though Voit was the only player to explicitly support Boone’s use of the term.