End of a fairytale: Kris and Anna Benson are getting divorced

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Anna Benson once went on the Howard Stern show and said that if husband Kris Benson ever cheated on her, she’d sleep with every one of his New York Mets teammates. Not sure if that works retroactively, but if it does, it’s Steve Trachsel’s lucky day:

Anna Benson, star of VH1’s “Baseball Wives” and mother to Kris Benson’s three children, was served with divorce papers in March after she said she discovered evidence he was having an affair.

“I’m very sad about this,” Benson told FOX411 exclusively. “Kris was my whole life. And he left me for someone else and he just abandoned us. I’m scared and I just don’t know what I’m going to do or how I’m going to take care of these kids.”

The story has way, way more detail about Kris Benson’s alleged infidelities and the particulars of the divorce fight that is shaping up between what was once baseball’s most notable marriage.

I’m sort of torn here. On the one hand, god, divorce is horrible, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, even Anna Benson, and I feel kinda bad.

On the other hand: jeez Anna, I over-share when it comes to my personal life, so if even I think you’re putting a little too much out there when it comes to the details of all of this, you’re probably going way over the top.

Oh, and I’m sorry for possibly putting the image of Steve Trachsel having sex in your head. That is the worst kind of horrible I can imagine.

Video: Matt Carpenter makes history with three home runs, two doubles

St Louis Cardinals v Chicago Cubs
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Matt Carpenter pulled his weight and then some during the Cardinals’ 18-5 win on Friday, becoming just the second player in MLB history to tally three home runs and two doubles in the same game… and the first-ever to do so in the first six innings of a single game.

Carpenter wasted little time getting the Cardinals on the board, first drawing a full count against Cubs lefty Jon Lester, then ricocheting a 92.4-MPH fastball off the scoreboard in right field for a leadoff home run. He returned in the second inning for another two-run shot and capped a seven-run spread in the fifth with an RBI double (his first double of the game was a leadoff hit in the fourth) before polishing off his performance with a third, three-run homer in the sixth.

Following Friday’s explosive five-run, seven-RBI performance, Carpenter is now batting .274/.381/.576 on the year with 23 home runs, 30 doubles and a .957 OPS in 388 PA. The last player to record five extra-base hits in one game was the Cubs’ Kris Bryant, who collected four runs and six RBI for the team back in June 2016. As MLB.com’s Jenifer Langosch pointed out, Carpenter might have set another franchise record for most home runs in a game had interim manager Mike Shildt not removed him from the game in the bottom of the sixth. The record is still held by former club outfielder Mark Whiten, who collected four home runs (and a staggering 12 RBI) against the Reds in September 1993.