Ozzie Guillen-Bryce Harper feud defused with a gift

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The other day Ozzie Guillen and Bryce Harper got into a pissy little fight over how much pine tar was on Harper’s bat. On Monday, some Nationals’ veterans figured out a good way to defuse it all:

They had the unknowing Harper sign a bat and added a message along with a generous amount of pine tar before sending it to the Marlins’ clubhouse. “It had pine tar all over the place,” Guillen said, laughing. “They put the rest: ‘To my hero, Ozzie. Love you.’ I thought it was funny.”

The peacemakers: Edwin Jackson, who Guillen managed in Chicago, and Adam LaRoche, whose father used to play with Guillen.  I suppose all the fuss is over now.

Which, good. But man, this whole “every Bryce Harper controversy turns into a happy little story in the end” stuff is getting a little old. It’s like Clint Eastwood on his farm at the beginning of “Unforgiven,” saying “I ain’t like that anymore.” Eventually something’s gonna happen that’s gonna make Harper kill someone’s wife, all his friends, and burn his damn house down, right? Figuratively I mean. Because we can’t escape out nature?

Matt Vasgersian thinks bachelorette parties at ballgames are “obnoxious”

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Last night during the Cardinals-Cubs game, the ESPN camera caught sight of a group of women at the game for a bachelorette party. Play-by-play man Matt Vasgersian had some opinions about it. Here’s the exchange:

Vasgersian: Is there anything more obnoxious than the bachelorette party at the ballpark, by the way?

Jessica Mendoza: Why is it obnoxious?

Vasgersian: Congratulations, by the way, yeah, we’re all very happy for you, la la la la.”

Mendoza: Why is that obnoxious?

Vasgersian: It’s such a ‘look at me thing.’ You’re sitting behind like the bridal party — ‘Like, oh my god! We’re getting married! Ehhhhh.”

Mendoza: Woooow. Kind of harsh.

A-Rod didn’t say much other than laugh a bit and say “I love it, Matt.” Which I presume meant he loves the party being there but it could be that he loves Vasgersian’s displeasure at it. I dunno. It’s A-Rod. He’s a man of multitudes.

I’m not exactly sure why Vasgersian believes that people having a good time with their friends is “obnoxious.” Indeed, I would think that, given what he does for a living, he’d think it’s good for people to associate baseball with fun and togetherness. It’s a free country though.

I presume that, at some point, ESPN is going to make Vasgersian apologize, because ESPN doesn’t really want its baseball announcers to be in the business of calling baseball fans “obnoxious.” I further presume that Vasgersian probably won’t mean it because the sort of person who gets cranky at other people having a good time tends not to be the sort of person who does a lot of reflecting when it’s pointed out to him that he’s being a jackwagon. Such is the exercise we go through when this kind of thing happens, however, so let us all hit our marks, shall we?

In other news, I can think of a lot more obnoxious things that can happen during a ballgame than a bachelorette party. Like when play-by-play announcers ignore the action on the field for minutes at a time as they chat idly with their booth-mates about things that are not related to the ballgame.