Shocker: Nick Johnson wasn’t injured before last night

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I swear I read the box scores to every game, but for some reason the fact that Nick Johnson had gone all the way until today without being on the disabled list took me by surprise. But he’s there now: the O’s placed him on the DL with a sprained right wrist he sustained in last night’s game.

Obviously the DL and wrist issues are nothing new to Johnson. What is kind of new is his relative ineffectiveness when he has been in the game. He’s hitting a mere .207/.324/.391 on the year.

Tom Brady’s bid to trademark ‘Tom Terrific’ rejected

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Remember back in June when New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady attempted to trademark “Tom Terrific?” And how everyone laughed at him because anyone who knows the first thing about sports knows that Tom Seaver, not Brady, was the first — and, frankly, only — “Tom Terrific?”

Well, our laughing was validated because his application was rejected by the Patent and Trademark Office because of a “false connection” with Tom Seaver. That’s the report from trademark lawyer Josh Gerben, who analyzes Brady’s failed bid here:

Next up on Great Moments in Hubris, I presume, will be my often ridiculous alma mater. But for now:

Sit down, son.