John Danks diagnosed with torn shoulder muscle

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Last week John Danks had his shoulder injury examined by Dr. James Andrews and said the visit involved “no bad news,” but another opinion from the White Sox medical staff apparently showed otherwise.

Scott Powers of ESPN Chicago reports that Danks has been diagnosed with a torn subscapularis muscle in his left shoulder.

The good news is that the team says surgery won’t be required. The bad news is that there’s no longer a timetable for his return after Danks felt good enough to make a minor-league rehab start just seven days ago.

Danks told Powers that the word “tear” exaggerates the seriousness of the injury, saying: “I don’t think it’s anything super major.” However, he hasn’t pitched in the majors since May 19 and seems unlikely to return before the All-Star break, which certainly qualifies as a major concern for the White Sox just months after signing Danks to a five-year, $65 million contract extension.

Tom Brady’s bid to trademark ‘Tom Terrific’ rejected

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Remember back in June when New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady attempted to trademark “Tom Terrific?” And how everyone laughed at him because anyone who knows the first thing about sports knows that Tom Seaver, not Brady, was the first — and, frankly, only — “Tom Terrific?”

Well, our laughing was validated because his application was rejected by the Patent and Trademark Office because of a “false connection” with Tom Seaver. That’s the report from trademark lawyer Josh Gerben, who analyzes Brady’s failed bid here:

Next up on Great Moments in Hubris, I presume, will be my often ridiculous alma mater. But for now:

Sit down, son.