Carlos Beltran becomes first switch-hitter to join 300-300 club

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We already know that Carlos Beltran is awesome, but now he’s historically awesome.

Beltran is the first switch-hitter in major league history to amass 300 home runs and 300 stolen bases. He accomplished the feat by stealing second base in the second inning last night. Appropriately enough, it was against the Royals, the team which selected him in the second round of the 1995 draft.

Beltran is the eighth member of the 300-300 club, joining Barry Bonds, Bobby Bonds, Andre Dawson, Steve Finley, Willie Mays, Alex Rodriguez and Reggie Sanders. But he’s the first switch-hitter in the group.

Mike Still of MLB.com reports that the second base bag was pulled off the Busch Stadium infield and awarded to Beltran in the clubhouse after the game. The 35-year-old outfielder is considering sending his spikes from last night’s game to Cooperstown.

Beltran is off to a fantastic start with the Cardinals this season, batting .301/.384/.603 with an NL-best 19 home runs. He has 321 lifetime home runs.

Tom Brady’s bid to trademark ‘Tom Terrific’ rejected

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Remember back in June when New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady attempted to trademark “Tom Terrific?” And how everyone laughed at him because anyone who knows the first thing about sports knows that Tom Seaver, not Brady, was the first — and, frankly, only — “Tom Terrific?”

Well, our laughing was validated because his application was rejected by the Patent and Trademark Office because of a “false connection” with Tom Seaver. That’s the report from trademark lawyer Josh Gerben, who analyzes Brady’s failed bid here:

Next up on Great Moments in Hubris, I presume, will be my often ridiculous alma mater. But for now:

Sit down, son.