Oh, is it time for Bryce Harper-to-the-Yankees speculation already?

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You knew this was coming eventually. And really, I ain’t even mad. Because this is so obviously calculated to troll people as opposed to being that classic “the Yankees must obtain every good player ever” kind of chatter that annoys us so that this works better as parody than it does as any sort of analysis:

By November, 2018, The Decision could be in the hands of Bryce Aron Max Harper. At that time, Harper will just have turned 26 … and he may be the undisputed king of baseball.  The Yankees will no longer have the contracts of Alex Rodriguez or Derek Jeter or Mark Teixeira. There will likely be new big names with big deals that take their place, but surely they will find enough money to pay Harper, if he wants to come … It might even be inevitable.

Next up: copy and paste it with Mike Trout.