“Bryce Harper is a conservative hero”

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Know what? You can read politics into too many things. Like this clown from the Daily Caller, who has decided that Bryce Harper is symbolic of some conservative rebirth, because he hustles and Jason Heyward is symbolic of liberalism because he’s lazy and complacent.

Normally that kind of construction is indicative of some sort of racism too — look at the industrious white man and the lazy black man! — but I think this guy is so enamored of seeing the political in everything that race isn’t even on his mind. No, his idiocy is pretty much monomaniacally political:

Bryce Harper is a conservative hero. The star rookie for the Washington Nationals has woken up Major League Baseball, and watching it unfold has reminded me of nothing so much as the collapse of the old political paradigms and the inevitable and upcoming rebirth of conservatism in November …

Harper is “scrappy” — yes, he uses the word scrappy — because he took an extra base when he hit a single to right against the Braves. Heyward is some old awful liberal because he was slow getting to the ball:

To me, the play carried even greater symbolic importance. Heyward’s bungle showed a complacency, if not indolence, that Harper threatens to destroy, but it also could be a metaphor for the collapse of the old liberal order. Heyward was like one of those public school teachers who, because they are a union member, can’t be fired and so are relegated to the “rubber room” to sit and read the paper and gather a check for the rest of their lives.

I don’t know if this is worse baseball analysis or political analysis, but it’s all kinds of bad either way.

Those Burglars caused $10K in damage at Yasiel Puig’s home

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LOS ANGELES (AP) Burglars caused $10,000 worth of damage to Los Angeles Dodgers star Yasiel Puig‘s home while attempting to steal a safe.

According to the Los Angeles Police Department, the suspects broke into Puig’s San Fernando Valley home Tuesday night. They ransacked the residence, found a safe in the second-floor master bedroom, and dragged it downstairs to the front door.

Police said Thursday that the suspects then fled, leaving the safe in the entry way. An inventory is being conducted to determine what else was taken. Puig was at Dodger Stadium for a game on Tuesday.

“I (did) not sleep too much yesterday,” Puig said Wednesday, without offering details about the latest incident.

Police are seeking the public’s help in identifying three suspects, including the driver of a black four-door Toyota vehicle with paper license plates.

Police say the same suspects are believed to have been involved in another burglary attempt at Puig’s home on Aug. 30.

Previous break-ins at Puig’s residences occurred in March 2017 and during Game 7 of last year’s World Series.

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