“You should be rewarding Roger Clemens, not prosecuting him”

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If you looked at that headline and guessed “things Roger Clemens’ lawyer said during closing arguments today,” well, you’re correct. Which, while a little over the top, isn’t terribly surprising. The defense attorney is always going to paint his client as virtuous and the opposition as evil.

Which is why it was rather strange to hear the prosecutor, in his closing argument, kind of going after Andy Pettitte, basically calling him a liar despite the fact that Pettitte was a prosecution witness.  And boy, that does seem like a long time ago when that happened, doesn’t it?

Ken Davidoff has all of the details from the closings. As expected, it was a lot of the defense calling Brian McNamee a liar and the prosecution telling the jury to use their common sense. Which is what it all boils down to: do they ignore McNamee’s clear credibility problems and convict Clemens because Occam’s Razor suggests that, yes, he did take PEDs, or do they ignore the Occam’s Razor explanation and acquit because the credibility of the person suggesting it is fatally flawed?

And when they do it, are they going to remember to put their finger on the scale in favor of the defense because of the prosecutor’s burden of proof?

We’ll likely find out this week, as the jury gets the case starting today.

Matt Vasgersian thinks bachelorette parties at ballgames are “obnoxious”

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Last night during the Cardinals-Cubs game, the ESPN camera caught sight of a group of women at the game for a bachelorette party. Play-by-play man Matt Vasgersian had some opinions about it. Here’s the exchange:

Vasgersian: Is there anything more obnoxious than the bachelorette party at the ballpark, by the way?

Jessica Mendoza: Why is it obnoxious?

Vasgersian: Congratulations, by the way, yeah, we’re all very happy for you, la la la la.”

Mendoza: Why is that obnoxious?

Vasgersian: It’s such a ‘look at me thing.’ You’re sitting behind like the bridal party — ‘Like, oh my god! We’re getting married! Ehhhhh.”

Mendoza: Woooow. Kind of harsh.

A-Rod didn’t say much other than laugh a bit and say “I love it, Matt.” Which I presume meant he loves the party being there but it could be that he loves Vasgersian’s displeasure at it. I dunno. It’s A-Rod. He’s a man of multitudes.

I’m not exactly sure why Vasgersian believes that people having a good time with their friends is “obnoxious.” Indeed, I would think that, given what he does for a living, he’d think it’s good for people to associate baseball with fun and togetherness. It’s a free country though.

I presume that, at some point, ESPN is going to make Vasgersian apologize, because ESPN doesn’t really want its baseball announcers to be in the business of calling baseball fans “obnoxious.” I further presume that Vasgersian probably won’t mean it because the sort of person who gets cranky at other people having a good time tends not to be the sort of person who does a lot of reflecting when it’s pointed out to him that he’s being a jackwagon. Such is the exercise we go through when this kind of thing happens, however, so let us all hit our marks, shall we?

In other news, I can think of a lot more obnoxious things that can happen during a ballgame than a bachelorette party. Like when play-by-play announcers ignore the action on the field for minutes at a time as they chat idly with their booth-mates about things that are not related to the ballgame.