A woman is suing the Phillie Phanatic

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A woman named Suzanne Peirce was minding her own business when, according to the complaint she recently filed, she was attacked by the Phillie Phanatic, who picked her up and threw her into a hotel pool:

Peirce claims she hurt just about everything in the incident, including suffering “severe and permanent injuries to her head, neck, back, body, arms and legs, bones, muscles, tendons, ligaments, nerves and tissues …” and more. The pool did have water in it, attorney Aaron Denker said, though Peirce was tossed in the shallow end.

The plaintiff says that she has spent a lot of money on medicine and medical attention and that she has suffered from “humiliation and loss of life’s pleasures.”

Her lawyer mentions that she’s a Phillies fan, but after reading the stuff about “humiliation and loss of life’s pleasures,” I figured that went without saying.

Brandon Morrow injured his back taking off his pants

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The Cubs’ bullpen got into trouble in the ninth inning on Tuesday afternoon during the first game of a doubleheader. Justin Wilson started the inning with the Cubs leading 3-2, normally a situation for closer Brandon Morrow. Wilson issued a leadoff walk to Austin Barnes, then gave up a single to Justin Turner. Morrow wasn’t warming up, curiously. Wilson ended up giving up a go-ahead two-run double to pinch-hitter Kyle Farmer and the Cubs went on to lose 4-3.

We now know why Morrow wasn’t available. He says his back tightened up taking off his pants early Monday morning, MLB.com’s Carrie Muskat reports. Morrow said, “It’s frustrating any time you can’t get out there, especially when you can’t go for something as stupid as taking your pants off.”

Morrow, 33, has been terrific in the closer’s role this season for the Cubs. He owns a 1.59 ERA with a 25/9 K/BB ratio in 22 2/3 innings. He is also not available for the back end of Tuesday’s doubleheader, but it sounds like he won’t need to go on the disabled list.