And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights

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Giants 14, Marlins 7: There have been times over the past couple of years when the Giants wouldn’t score 14 in a week. And when he played in New York and Atlanta, there were weeks when Melky Cabrera wouldn’t drive in four, but here we are. Angel Pagan did the same. The Marlins bullpen gave up nine runs in less than four innings.

Phillies 10, Cardinals 9: Given that the Cardinals lost, I assume that Rally Naked Guy (warning: man-butt) isn’t going to take off like the Rally Squirrel, but I like his pluck and moxie. Three RBI a piece for Shane Victorino and Freddy Galvis.

Padres 11, Mets 5: What’s gotten into these low-powered west coast teams? San Diego broke out the whuppin’ sticks too, rapping out 18 hits. Eric Stults (hmm?) gave up one run over five.

Reds 6, Braves 3: The Reds swept the Braves in a four game series and have won six in a row overall.  Devin Mesoraco hit a grand slam. There were approximately 467 home runs — give or take — in this series. All of the Braves’ pitchers are likely suffering from Great American Ballpark PTSD.

White Sox 11, Twins 8: Speaking of home runs, the White Sox had five of them. One of them was by Alejandro De Aza in the sixth inning. He had what was initially called a home run in the fifth as well, but it was overturned on replay.

Indians 2, Tigers 1: Justin Verlander was near perfect in his previous start. He would have had to be again to win this one. Despite giving up only two runs — one a tape measure shot in the first from Shin-Soo Choo — he and the Tigers lost because Justin Masterson gave up only a run in seven innings despite walking five dudes. The sweep for the Indians, who would like you all to know that, yes, they are for real.

Angels 3, Mariners 0: Albert Pujols was 3 for 3 with a homer.  Folks, El Hombre is back. Deal with it.

Tom Brady’s bid to trademark ‘Tom Terrific’ rejected

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Remember back in June when New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady attempted to trademark “Tom Terrific?” And how everyone laughed at him because anyone who knows the first thing about sports knows that Tom Seaver, not Brady, was the first — and, frankly, only — “Tom Terrific?”

Well, our laughing was validated because his application was rejected by the Patent and Trademark Office because of a “false connection” with Tom Seaver. That’s the report from trademark lawyer Josh Gerben, who analyzes Brady’s failed bid here:

Next up on Great Moments in Hubris, I presume, will be my often ridiculous alma mater. But for now:

Sit down, son.