Sounds like someone put Icy-Hot in Stephen Strasburg’s jock

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No, that’s not some metaphor. Mark Zuckerman of CSNWashington.com tweets from Davey Johnson’s postgame presser:

Strasburg had one of his worst outings ever against the Padres, allowing four runs on seven hits in four innings in a 6-1 loss.  If, indeed, someone put this foul, combustible stuff in something that later touched his bits and pieces, well, it’s all understood. And all forgiven.

And of course, it would also mean that Strasburg has an almost 100% certainty of having a new nickname.

But this raises more questions than it gives answers. Who would perpetrate such a heinous act? Why prank The Franchise on a day he’s pitching?  And, dear lord, why is Davey Johnson sharing this with reporters?

UPDATE: Forgot about this. Maybe he did it to himself and he just wants to be like Roger Clemens. Both of them were in Washington, D.C. today. Maybe Rocket was giving the young, um, fireballer a little professional advice!

UPDATE II:  Turns out it wasn’t Icy-Hot!  Adam Kilgore of the Washington Post reports that it was actually an ointment called “Hot Stuff.”  Tomorrow, Kilgore’s editors at the post will give him Bob Woodward’s old office and Carl Bernstein’s old typewriter in honor of his tenacious investigative reporting of this matter.

UPDATE III:  I suppose we’re obligated to call Strasburg a “fireballer” now, huh?

MRI reveals that Jay Bruce has a strained right hip

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Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a Mets player struggles mightily for an extended period, to the point where it seems pretty obvious that something is wrong with him. The team says that he’s merely “sore” or “banged up” or something and the team either plays short-handed for a while or deals with the diminished player taking his hacks. Then, when he is eventually placed on the disabled list, it’s revealed that he has more serious trouble than general soreness or being banged up.

You ask for miracles, Theo, I give you the New York Mets:

 

He had been put on the DL a couple of days ago, but now it’s clear what the problem is. It may also illuminate why Bruce is hitting just .212/.292/.321 with three homers and 17 RBI in 236 plate appearances this season.

The Mets have not announced a timetable for Bruce.