Daisuke Matsuzaka scheduled for just two more rehab starts

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According to ESPNBoston.com, the Red Sox now have a timetable for Daisuke Matsuzaka’s return:

The right-hander, who had Tommy John surgery on his right elbow in June 2011, is scheduled to start for the PawSox on May 17 and May 22 before his rehab assignment expires on May 23.

If all goes well in those final two Triple-A outings, Matsuzaka should be cleared to join Boston’s starting rotation during the final week of May.

The 31-year-old registered an ugly 5.30 ERA and 1.47 WHIP in 37 1/3 innings last season for the Red Sox before going under the knife in early-June. He owns a 4.25 career ERA in over 622 major league frames.

Tom Brady’s bid to trademark ‘Tom Terrific’ rejected

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Remember back in June when New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady attempted to trademark “Tom Terrific?” And how everyone laughed at him because anyone who knows the first thing about sports knows that Tom Seaver, not Brady, was the first — and, frankly, only — “Tom Terrific?”

Well, our laughing was validated because his application was rejected by the Patent and Trademark Office because of a “false connection” with Tom Seaver. That’s the report from trademark lawyer Josh Gerben, who analyzes Brady’s failed bid here:

Next up on Great Moments in Hubris, I presume, will be my often ridiculous alma mater. But for now:

Sit down, son.