Billy Butler improves from “portly” to “lumbering” overnight

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I wish I had taken a screen cap of it last night, but believe me, the first version of the AP game story from the Red Sox-Royals game called Billy Butler “the Royals’ portly designated hitter.”  Sometime overnight it was amended:

The lumbering designated hitter’s three-run shot in the eighth inning Tuesday night boosted the Kansas City Royals a 6-4 victory over the Red Sox …

Not sure how I feel about that. “Portly” isn’t the kindest thing to call a guy, but there is a weird dignity to it. Winston Churchill was portly, after all. He owned that look. The young Orson Welles had a bit of portly heft to him but looked like a million bucks. A portly man, properly attired, can be quite a nice package of goods assuming he is likewise charming, confident, funny and kind of spirit.

But “lumbering?” Ah. Denotes more than a physical shortcoming, suggesting a laziness in one’s character. A lumbering man all but requires a tuba soundtrack as he attempts to run. A portly man can still be sneaky-fast.

I think I’d rather be called portly, if I had to choose, not lumbering. I’m not sure I’m in the majority here. I think more people would pick “lumbering” due to the suggestion of movement.  But I gotta go with my, well, gut here.

Asdrubal Cabrera signs with the Texas Rangers

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Ken Rosenthal reports that the Texas Rangers have signed infielder Asdrubal Cabrera to a one-year deal, pending a physical. He’ll be paid $3.5 million, according to Jeff Passan of ESPN. Rosenthal reports that Cabrera will primarily play third base, replacing Adrian Beltre, who has retired.

It’s a fairly low price given that Cabrera hit 23 homers and posted a line of .262/.316/.458 (112 OPS+) between the Mets and Phillies last season but, as is the case with so many other veteran free agents, there did not appear to be much of a market developing for his services. He’ll at least get a lot of playing time in Texas, it would seem.