The Orioles are going to sign Miguel Tejada

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Earlier this evening I saw someone tweeting about Miguel Tejada and the Orioles signing a deal. I followed it back to the source and found some sketchy looking Spanish language report that claimed to be based on Tejada’s Twitter account. Except, as Enrique Rojas of ESPN noted, Tejada doesn’t have a Twitter account.

Hahaha, I said to myself, how silly for someone to fake a Miguel Tejada to the Orioles report. I mean, what’s the point of faking something so minor and, really, so unnecessary and doomed to failure?

Joke’s on me, though:

The Orioles are closing in on signing veteran infielder Miguel Tejada and he will report to the team’s Spring Training facility in Sarasota, Fla. on Monday to take a physical.

Orioles executive vice president of baseball operations Dan Duquette said the team received favorable reports about Tejada, who is 37, and he will work out for the foreseeable future in extended spring.  The two sides have not reached an exact contract agreement, but that’s expected as long as Monday’s workout and physical go smoothly.

Or, maybe, the joke’s on anyone in the Oriole’s organization who thinks that Tejada has anything left in the tank. He hit .239/.270/.326 with the Giants last year, who cut him. THE GIANTS. They were combing the high schools last year, looking for assistant JV coaches who may have played semi-pro ball in the 90s to see if they could help the offense, for cryin’ out loud.

Oh well. Good luck to all involved. Just don’t pin any hopes on this translating to any major league value whatsoever.

Matt Vasgersian thinks bachelorette parties at ballgames are “obnoxious”

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Last night during the Cardinals-Cubs game, the ESPN camera caught sight of a group of women at the game for a bachelorette party. Play-by-play man Matt Vasgersian had some opinions about it. Here’s the exchange:

Vasgersian: Is there anything more obnoxious than the bachelorette party at the ballpark, by the way?

Jessica Mendoza: Why is it obnoxious?

Vasgersian: Congratulations, by the way, yeah, we’re all very happy for you, la la la la.”

Mendoza: Why is that obnoxious?

Vasgersian: It’s such a ‘look at me thing.’ You’re sitting behind like the bridal party — ‘Like, oh my god! We’re getting married! Ehhhhh.”

Mendoza: Woooow. Kind of harsh.

A-Rod didn’t say much other than laugh a bit and say “I love it, Matt.” Which I presume meant he loves the party being there but it could be that he loves Vasgersian’s displeasure at it. I dunno. It’s A-Rod. He’s a man of multitudes.

I’m not exactly sure why Vasgersian believes that people having a good time with their friends is “obnoxious.” Indeed, I would think that, given what he does for a living, he’d think it’s good for people to associate baseball with fun and togetherness. It’s a free country though.

I presume that, at some point, ESPN is going to make Vasgersian apologize, because ESPN doesn’t really want its baseball announcers to be in the business of calling baseball fans “obnoxious.” I further presume that Vasgersian probably won’t mean it because the sort of person who gets cranky at other people having a good time tends not to be the sort of person who does a lot of reflecting when it’s pointed out to him that he’s being a jackwagon. Such is the exercise we go through when this kind of thing happens, however, so let us all hit our marks, shall we?

In other news, I can think of a lot more obnoxious things that can happen during a ballgame than a bachelorette party. Like when play-by-play announcers ignore the action on the field for minutes at a time as they chat idly with their booth-mates about things that are not related to the ballgame.