Fenway regulars: how do you deal with the place?

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I have never been to Fenway Park. I want to go, desperately. I want to sit in the Monster seats, actually, because those look pretty fantastic.  Also: because everyone I know who has been to Fenway tells me that the rest of the park — while historic and beautiful and all of that — is something of a pain.

The say that the seats are small and the legroom is poor. Many seats don’t face the infield. The tunnels and concourses, for lack of a better term, are dark and crowded.  It’s totally expected in a park that age, but it certainly makes for a big disconnect between comfort and coolness. The latter is in great abundance and can overcome a lot of problems, but the former is in short supply, I’m told. So I guess I’m looking forward to going someday, but I’m kind of thankful that I don’t have an 81-game package. Because I fear that, once the novelty wore off, I’d find it a bit miserable.

I know a lot of you have weighed in on this in recent threads, particularly that Luke Scott “Fenway is a dump” post. But what I really want to know is how regular Fenway goers feel about the place. In all honesty, as a baseball-going destination, not as a historical thing. We know it’s cool and great and a gem from that certain perspective — I love seeing it on TV too — but what is it like to go there a lot?

Are the complaints I listed above overblown? Is it one of those things where it’s great if you don’t know any better but if you’ve spent time in more modern parks it’s hard to go back? How do you make it work?  I ask because while history and novelty would cover it all for me if I went there a few times, I’m guessing it doesn’t outweigh the inconveniences if you go there a dozen times a year.

Have at it.

Adrián Beltré is a slam dunk Hall of Famer

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Rangers third baseman Adrián Beltré officially announced his retirement on Tuesday, ending months of speculation about his future. The 39-year-old put together one of the greatest careers we have ever seen, spending time with the Dodgers, Mariners, Red Sox, and Rangers across 21 seasons.

Beltré will be eligible for the Hall of Fame five years from now. Given how much more analytically-literate the electorate has become in recent years, Beltré will very likely get the requisite 75 percent of the vote to earn enshrinement in Cooperstown. In a just world, he would get 100 percent of the vote, but no player has ever gone into the Hall of Fame unanimously.

Beltré retires having hit .286/.339/.480 with 477 home runs, 1,707 RBI, 1,524 runs scored, and 121 stolen bases in 12,130 plate appearances. Beltré hit for the cycle three times: in 2008 with the Mariners, and in 2012 and 2015 with the Rangers. He won four Silver Sluggers and made the All-Star team four times, both of which seem criminally low. He also won five Gold Gloves and two Platinum Gloves. For the bulk of his career, he was arguably the best defensive third baseman if not just in his league then in all of baseball. Injuries slowed Beltré in his 30’s, particularly in the last two seasons, but despite that, he showed when he was healthy that he could still hang with the young guns in his old age. No one would have been surprised if he hung around for one more season. Despite health issues, Beltré still hit around the league average with above-average defense.

Among Hall of Famers who played at least 50 percent of their career games at third base, Beltré’s career 95.7 WAR ranks behind only Mike Schmidt (106.8) and Eddie Mathews (96.6), per Baseball Reference. He’s ahead of Wade Boggs (91.4), George Brett (88.7), and Chipper Jones (85.2). Those six are the only third basemen in the 80’s when it comes to WAR.

As Jon Morosi points out, Beltré is the only third baseman in baseball history with 3,000-plus hits and 400-plus home runs. Individually, the 3,000-hit club boasts only 32 members while the 400-homer club has 55 members. Beltré’s 3,166 hits and 477 homes rank 16th and 30th, respectively.

Beltré’s numbers are absurdly good, but beyond that, he was a character. He took the game quite seriously, but he was still able to have fun. He became one of the most .gif-able players in the game. Beltré didn’t like his head being touched, so when he approached or went through the dugout collecting high-fives after hitting home runs, his teammates would oftentimes playfully pat him or rub his head. Beltré would pretend to go after them in revenge.

Beltré once borrowed groundskeeping equipment in order to avoid Gatorade baths.

Beltré wasn’t afraid to drop to one knee to hit a homer, either.

Beltré played games with his opponents after successfully swiping a base.

Beltré got into standoffs with opposing players, further proving he’s anything but an easy out.

Beltré made relevant cultural references.

Beltré once trolled the umpire, who asked him to get back into the on-deck circle, by moving the on-deck circle.

Happy trails to not only one of the best players of his generation, but to one of the most entertaining as well. Baseball will be poorer without Adrián Beltré. His Hall of Fame induction ceremony should be tremendous, though.