Jeff Gray and the absurdity of pitcher “wins”

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Twins reliever Jeff Gray is a 30-year-old journeyman who, as of yesterday afternoon, had one career victory as a big leaguer. Now he has three career victories and how he got there is hilarious.

Last night Gray entered the game with two outs in the seventh inning and the Twins down 5-3. He retired Peter Bourjos to end the frame and then Minnesota scored three runs in the next half-inning, making Gray the pitcher of record and giving him a win for throwing exactly one pitch.

This afternoon Gray entered the game with two outs in the eighth inning and the Twins down 7-6. He retired Howie Kendrick to end the frame and then Minnesota scored four runs in the next half-inning. Gray once again got the win, although this time he threw two pitches instead of one.

So, in the span of about 18 hours Gray went from one career win to three career wins, all while facing two hitters and throwing a grand total of three pitches. Obviously he just knows how to win.

Andrelton Simmons, Shohei Ohtani both injured in Angels’ loss

Associated Press
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The loss of a close, well-pitched game is hard enough for any team to take, but when you lose two key players to injury in the process it’s gotta be damn nigh intolerable. That’s what happened to the Angels last night in their 3-1 loss to Minnesota, losing Andrelton Simmons and Shohei Ohtani. And it happened on consecutive plays in the bottom of the eighth inning.

Simmons is likely to be gone for an extended period after suffering a sprained ankle which was later deemed “severe”. Indeed, they weren’t sure it wasn’t broken until the X-rays came back negative. He sustained the injury running to first base, trying to beat out an infield hit. He came down on the ankle and it twisted in ugly fashion — there are Gifs of it on Twitter and stuff, but you don’t wanna see them — before tumbling over the bag to the ground. Simmons will have an MRI today to see how bad things really are.

Ohtani got off more easily, getting hit in the right ring finger with a pitch while striking out. His X-rays were also negative, but they will reassess him today.

Simmons is hitting .298/.323/.415 on the year while playing his usual spectacular defense. Ohtani, who just came back from Tommy John surgery as a hitter a couple of weeks ago, is hitting .250/.345/.375.