John Mozeliak expects Chris Carpenter back in May

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Cardinals starter Chris Carpenter is out indefinitely with nerve irritation in his shoulder. On a radio show this morning, however, general manager John Mozeliak said that he is “optimistic” that Carpenter will be back in May.

If you were the sort to parse such statements — and, yeah, I’m the sort because I can’t help myself — you would consider whether that means that Mozeliak thinks Carpenter will be back in May and that notion makes him generally optimistic, or if Carpenter being back in May is an optimistic assessment of his timetable.

Then you would go on and obsess about whether the guy behind the counter at the coffee place this morning was genuinely hoping that I’d have a nice day or if he didn’t actually mean it.  I mean, hoping that you’d have a nice day. In this hypothetical I just made up about people who read too deeply into things.

Yeah, hypothetical.

Pirates pitcher Steven Brault sang the National Anthem last night

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Pittsburgh Pirates swingman Steven Brault has a 4.38 ERA in 19 games this year. He also has a music degree and is a professional singer on the side of his baseball gig. He didn’t get into last night’s game against the Brewers as a pitcher, but he did get to use his singing skills.

Specifically, Brault got to sing the National Anthem. And he did an OK job of it too. He’s not Whitney Houston or anything, but he did what all Anthem singers who are not as gifted as Whitney Houston was should do: he kept it straight and businesslike, avoiding unnecessary flourishes:

It’s march, dang it, not a ballad, and it should be treated as such. Unless of course you’re Whitney Houston.