It’s not clear who will get the most reps at short in Boston this year. But yesterday Reds Sox’ manager Bobby Valentine said that Mike Aviles has the “DNA” of an everyday shortstop.
Fact: Mike Aviles was born in New York City in the spring of 1981. Fact: the “everyday shortstop” of the Yankees at the time of Aviles’ conception was Bucky Dent.
Theory: If Aviles has the DNA of an everyday shortstop, that must mean* that Bucky Dent is his real father, and Aviles has now been delivered to Boston as part of a generations-spanning plot by Bucky Dent to punish the Red Sox even further than he already has.
Unless of course he plays really well, in which case it is Bucky Dent making amends with Red Sox fans for that home run he hit in 1978.
Or it’s possible that Aviles is actually the son of Frank Taveras, who started 141 games at short for the Mets in 1980. But such speculation would be silly.
*Note: it must not mean any of this actually.