Josh Hamilton: don’t be like Whitney Houston, Mmm-kay?

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Pop quiz, hot shot! You have a sports column due tomorrow and can’t think of a topic. Then, suddenly, a big national story erupts in a world that has absolutely nothing to do with sports.  You feel like it’s just too big a leap to make and you hesitate to try to squeeze a sports story out of it.  But you really need to meet deadline. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!

Well, if you’re Patrick Rishe from Forbes, you do this:

Days after Mr. Hamilton’s relapse, the Rangers hired Shayne Kelley to essentially play watchdog to ensure that Mr. Hamilton will stay clean going forward.

Perhaps, Mr. Kelley, you should have Mr. Hamilton sit down and read all about the rise and fall of Ms. Houston.  Have him YouTube some of her best performances when she was at the height of her career, and then look-up photos and videos of her during her troubled times. Because this will remind Mr. Hamilton that nothing is forever and that substance abuse destroys.

Look, that’s not the worst intrusion of non-sports tragedy into the world of sports writing we’ve seen — this is, by far — but it’s pretty awful.

But sure, Josh Hamilton. Don’t be like Whitney.  Now that someone has pointed that out to you, I’m sure you’ll be A-OK.