Kevin Youkilis is marrying Tom Brady’s sister? OK.

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It’s like a royal wedding for Boston. Kevin Youkilis is getting hitched to Tom Brady’s sister. Or so reports the Boston Herald.

And more notable than that news is the exact phrasing of the article which delivers it and the fact that it took three bylined writers to craft the prose:

This is supposed to be hush-hush and on the deep down-low, but you know us. It’s time to pop the bubbly because Kevin Youkilis and Tom Brady’s sis, Julie, are engaged!

The happy couple, who spent Super Bowl week together with the Brady clan in Indy, got engaged “recently” after dating for at least a year, we’re told from a few F.O.Ys.

I wish I was important enough to have friends with their own initials like that. “A few F.O.C.’s tell us that Calcaterra is going to eat leftover lasagna for dinner for the third straight night!”  I guess one needs friends before that happens though. Yeah.

Less than two months until the first post of the morning is about baseball people. Less than two months.

Report: Padres have made offers to both Manny Machado and Bryce Harper

Manny Machado
Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images
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Jon Heyman has been hot on the free agent trail today, reporting that the Padres have made offers both Manny Machado and Bryce Harper. The offer to Machado is believed to be for eight years and about $250 million, while the offer to Harper is believed to be for more than that.

Heyman was reporting on Harper earlier, tweeting that the Phillies are the favorite to sign him. He added this evening that Harper has multiple long-term offers at more than $30 million annually. Regarding Machado, Heyman noted that while Machado was believed to have had a preference for the East coast, he will go for the best deal now, which puts the Padres firmly in the picture.

The Padres reportedly met with Machado last week. A late entrant into the sweepstakes, the club has shown the willingness to spend, signing Eric Hosmer to an eight-year, $144 million contract last year. If he goes to San Diego, Machado would be the full-time third baseman with Luis Urias handling shortstop.

Nothing appears close, but we’ll take anything resembling a spark to light the hot stove.