George Brett’s company sued over false medical claims

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You’re not gonna believe this, but some people have the nerve to suggest that Hall of Fame third baseman George Brett’s claims that cheap jewelry has healing powers is … false.

I know, I’m shocked too, because I get all of my medical treatment from trinkets and baubles and things. Indeed, I was ordered to undergo triple bypass surgery last year but, rather than undergo a risky and expensive medical procedure, I put on a sharp little pinky ring that former Braves catcher/3B Biff Pocoroba said would do the trick. And here I am!

Lawyers are seeking class-action status for a lawsuit that claims Hall of Fame slugger George Brett has been falsely advertising necklaces and bracelets as being able to help improve health and sports performance.

A lawsuit filed Monday in federal court in Des Moines claims Spokane Valley, Wash.-based Brett Bros. Sports International, Inc. has falsely claimed its Ionic Necklaces help customers relieve pain in the neck, shoulders and upper back, recover from sports fatigue and improve focus. The company has also falsely claimed its bracelets, which include two roller magnets, would relieve wrist, hand and elbow pain, the lawsuit said.

George Brett is the president of the company. I’m going to assume that he has sufficient medical training himself and filing cabinets full of records of the clinical trials for his little bracelets which establish, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are not witchcraft and sorcery.

Because really, why would George Brett mislead us about that?