As happens every year, the days after the Hall of Fame announcement are filled with people making suggestions about how to fix the Hall of Fame, the voting and all of that.
There are tiers suggested, in which Babe Ruth and Willie Mays sit on top and Jim Rice, George Kell and Lloyd Waner rest on the bottom. Alterations to the voting, ranging from the “panel of experts” to the “million monkeys with a million typewriters” models are suggested. Clearly, when it gets to this part of the season it is the best of times and it is the blurst of times, in terms of discussion topics, depending on your point of view.
Here’s one more suggestion though, floated by The Common Man: The Ron Swanson Hall of Fame. It comes with induction categories such as guys who are elected by virtue of their toughness, their “unquenchable iconoclasm” and for their love of meat and scotch. The latter of which should probably be its own Hall of Fame, but that’s a topic for another day.
Anyway, if you know who Ron Swanson is you should enjoy it. If you don’t, well, “Parks and Rec” is available on Netflix Instant.
Ichiro wore a fake mustache to sneak into the Mariners’ dugout
Ichiro Suzuki is now a Mariners employee and, as such, he’s not allowed to sit in the dugout during a game. That’s for coaches and players only.
He knows that, too. Indeed, on the day Ichiro announced his sorta-retirement, he talked about how it was going to be hard not to be down on the field with the other players. He even made a ridiculous joke about how, “[he] can’t say for certain that maybe [he] won’t put on a beard and glasses and be like Bobby Valentine and be in the dugout.”
In related news, this mysterious stranger was seen by an Associated Press photographer in the Mariners dugout during the first couple of innings of the M’s-Yankees game:
No beard, but I guess that joke was not very ridiculous after all. Either way, by the end of the second inning — poof — he was gone.
Obviously, when something interesting like this happens you mustache an expert for their opinion on the matter. To that end, the Associated Press reached Bobby Valentine, who famously did the same thing after an ejection way back in 1999, for comment:
“He was perfect. I never would have known it was him.”
Valentine was suspended for two games and fined $5,000. I’m assuming Ichiro won’t get hit quite as hard given that he wasn’t defying an umpire’s authority, but even if he does have to pay a fine, he’ll likely do so willingly.