Report: Manny Ramirez “is calling teams directly”

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News of Manny Ramirez’s comeback predictably failed to create a bidding war for the 39-year-old with a 50-game suspension looming over his head, so Bob Klapisch of the Bergen Record reports that Ramirez is “so intent on finding work he’s calling teams directly.”

Oh what I wouldn’t give to hear those calls.

“Billy Beane here.”

“Hello. This is Manny Ramirez.”

[Click.]

I’m not going to even bother making up any more pretend dialogue, because it’s funny enough without it.

The only thing better is if Ramirez mis-dials and ends up calling Brett Favre, because as we all know he’s always willing to listen if anyone gives him a call.