Report: In 1999 Russ Davis “had more flow than Rockefeller has dough”

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I don’t even know what to do with this. I always sort of regretted that I quit buying baseball cards in the late 80s, but Jon Bois’ latest installment of “Sports Cards for Insane People” over at SB Nation has made me really regret it.

Yes, SkyBox put out a set in 1999 in which whoever writes the blurbs for for baseball cards wrote raps to describe guys like … Jamie Moyer. And Bruce Chen. And Russ Davis.  Because that’s all so apt.  I mean, yes, some things age poorly, but how that ever seemed like a good idea is beyond me.

But hey, our gain. I think. Oh my god.

Assault charges against Roberto Osuna withdrawn, peace bond issued

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Astros reliever Roberto Osuna appeared in an Ontario court today, where the assault charges against him were withdrawn. In their place is now a one-year peace bond, which is akin to a restraining order combined with probation. Pursuant to the peace bond Osuna is required to continue with counseling he has undertaken, to not get in any legal trouble and to have no contact with his accuser without court consent for the next year.

The reason for the revocation of the charges is that, according to prosecutors, the complainant is in Mexico and would not return to Canada for a trial against Osuna. Without her testimony the case against Osuna could not be won. The peace bond, then, was the only real option.

Osuna was arrested in Toronto while still playing for the Blue Jays and was charged with assaulting a woman on May 8. Major League Baseball suspended him for 75 games under the league’s domestic violence policy. The Blue Jays traded him to the Astros on July 30 in exchange for Ken Giles and two minor leaguers and he has pitched for the Astros ever since. This latest hearing was scheduled to coincide with the Astros’ trip to Toronto this week.

The Astros issued a statement:

And statements from Osuna and his attorney: